I love when I get to share general life wisdom with the Pivot: Shift Ahead and Inspire Collective groups. That’s why I was so excited to chat with Alyce Dailey recently. A businesswoman, wife, mother, and all-around good person, Alyce has learned a lot over the years. After hitting a wall and feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, and like she had no margin for error in her life, she made it to the other side. And based on the ideas she’s found to work in her own life, Alyce wrote a book called The M.A.G.I.C Mom.  

It doesn’t matter if you’re not a mom, a wife, or a businessperson, the principles she talks about in this book are applicable to anyone. Each of us only has one life to live, so we should live it in the most authentic way possible. That’s right – all of us can gain something from the insight Alyce shares.

If you haven’t watched the video yet, you can watch it here. Then, read on below for a recap of Alyce’s M.A.G.I.C.

Our Values Matter

Decisions are important at every stage of our lives. And no question, they can be hard. However, when we take the time to understand what we truly value, our decisions can be easier. When we know this, our values influence all of our choices and can trickle down to benefit every area of our lives. Our decisions are simply more straightforward when are values are clear to us.  

Alyce’s values (and the decisions she makes in her life) fall into the acronym M.A.G.I.C – model, affirm, grace, inquire, and coach. These five principles guide her in everything she does.

M – Model

Alyce asks us to take a look around us. Are you following the models that best suit what you personally want for your life? And are you modeling behavior that you’d be proud for the next generation to follow? Once we’re able to identify what’s good and what can be improved in our own dealings, we are better able to do something about it. After all, we want our actions to be a positive influence on the people around us in both the little and the big things in life.

A – Affirm

We’ve all done it at some point or another: let the soundtrack within our heads get the better of us. When this happens, we need to stop and reframe our thinking. For instance, we know how we would encourage someone in our life if they came to us with a challenge they were facing. Sometimes we need to use those same words and the same approach to ourselves. When we experience a hardship, we should stop and think about what we would say in the same situation if we were talking to someone else experiencing it. Talking to ourselves with kindness and with the same affirmations we use with others, will help us to find the answers we’re looking for.

G – Grace

We’re good at giving grace to others, but we aren’t always good at giving it to ourselves. Recognizing this – and then correcting it – is important. A good place to start is in recognizing forms of self-compassion in our lives that we sometimes misinterpret as luxury. Whether it be something as seemingly small as having a morning cup of coffee or taking a walk, self-care is important and necessary to make ourselves complete. Giving ourselves the grace to accept our needs and value their importance is essential for leading happy and fulfilled lives.

I – Inquire

Asking good questions of ourselves and the people around us is a skill that’s hugely worthwhile but that not many of us know how to do. It’s a skill we can learn with practice. When we move away from the more simplistic “why?” questions and move toward more powerful questions such as “who?” we’re better able to find answers that can shape our world for the better.

C – Coach

The terms “coach,” “consultant,” and “mentor” are often used interchangeably, but in reality, there are key differences between them. Not only that, but there are reasons for each of these roles in the various stages of our lives. Coaches have a vested interest in “the game” – and in the game of life, they want to ensure our success. This may mean anything from giving us a playbook to follow to not letting us off the hook when our performance slips. The bigger we want our lives to be, the more important it is to have the right coaches to guide us. While we may often act as coaches in the lives of the people around us, we have to make sure that we take the time to involve coaches in our own lives. Like we said on the call, “Coaches are responsible for outcomes, so if you have the right coach with you, they are invested in making sure you get the right result.”

At the end of the day, our happiness comes down to determining what our values are so that we can make decisions that enable us to live our lives authentically around these values. What is most important to us is a personal choice and it is only when the decisions we make satisfy these values that we can be truly fulfilled.

How do you best live your own M.A.G.I.C life? You can pick up a copy of The M.A.G.I.C Mom at this link and dive into its pages and advice in your own support community!